Okay, somewhere near the end of last year I developed a major addiction to the old school 90210 episodes… and yes, kinda fell in love with Luke Perry in the process. As a kid (which I was when they initially aired) I was probably about 4, also known as a little too young to be watching 15 years olds having sex and doing coke. Needless to say, when I heard they were bringing back the california ridiculousness I was skeptical but intrigued. Not only were they showcasing one of my favorite Degrassi Alumni (Darcy) but they were bringing back Kelly and Brenda from the original cast. Really though, how difficult are teen dramas, I mean seriously, its an easy formula: one part really good looking co-eds (especially the “popular” couple), one part amazing fashion, one part desirable setting that is in a very affluent area, one part semi-good acting with characters that have a definable persona and back story, and finally three parts immense drama. Or as my brother so lovingly puts it “pretty white kids with problems”. But to say that the CW fell short of living up to the previous cast and my expectations is like saying that I was depressed when the OC killed off Mischa Barton. Ere go, the following is my rant list about the assorted obvious problems with the new 90210 cast… however, I am worried that part of me may still want to watch it because of its ability to resemble a car crash that I can’t look away from.
1. Naomi. The apparent “Kelly” of this cast and supposed rich, popular fashionista is not living up to what this character should be. First off, I don’t think she’s very pretty (something about her teeth really irks me) and her hair is a bit too 80s for its own good. As for her clothing, I’ve seen it all before. One minute they’re putting her in neon green corsets with white jackets and diesels the next they’ve got her in a polka dot homemaker cardigan with a side pony and Chanel earrings. The worst sin of all was when they put her in the denim high- waisted shorts with the pink corset and the denim jacket. Even with all the fashion rules that have been thrown out the window in recent years (aka white shoes after labor day and wearing black with brown) I’m pretty sure wearing anything resembling a denim suit is still on the NEVER EVER TRY THIS AT HOME list. Personally I’m surprised that denim separates aren’t sold with warning labels that threaten immediate confiscation of said item if worn with another piece of the same material. Her Chanel bag is probably the most ripped off bag of any style Chanel produces, therefore I almost immediately wrote it off as a fake. Her red dress she wore to the bar (for a hot second) and the silver one she wore to her party were both void of any actual cutting edge style. Any girl with money can shop a rack at Barneys. Also, they’re putting her in a Balenciaga-esque blazer with an M by MJ top and calling it expensive style is not working for me.
2. Black nails. While I will hardly ever talk shit about the love of my life Gossip Girl, I have to admit they are behind on this too. Why is every single character donning black nails when that trend died as soon as we rang in 2008. Did they not read any fashion blogs about the crazy rush for bright blue nails… I’m pretty sure Chanel even sold out of their signature blue color back in March so how have these apparent stylists not heard about it?! Granted, blue is already on its way out again, but still way more acceptable than the gothic nails that are still all over our teen soaps. Aren’t they supposed to be setting the trends?
3. Silver. While I think she is the prettiest of the girls and will probably end up being my favorite character of the three (that is if i subject myself to another episode) they need to figure out her style. Putting her in piles of American Apparel does not constitute going against the grain of LA society since I’m pretty sure tri-blend v-necks took over the city this past spring. Spotted: one skater dress in charcoal with a few chains thrown over top. Also spotted: forever21 love bracelet that I currently own, converse, crazy striped socks and an immense amount of tie-dye.
4. Annie. Right so I get that they are trying to emphasize the fact that Wichita is worlds away from Beverly Hills but that doesn’t mean Annie has to dress like a bad Abercromie/Hollister model. I have a good friend from Wichita, Kansas and trust me, she dresses adorable in Alice and Olivia dresses and assorted shopbop shoes. Never in my life have I seen her wear something from Holliser… and she even lives in florida now. My top rated offense they put on her character: wide leg trousers with a baggy top. The girl is thin, if not borderline anorexic by the look of her arms, so putting her in something that baggy just made her look like she was wearing clothing that was wayy too big for her. Also, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone look so awkward onstage with a mic before. Also, the blue pleated dress that she wore to Naomi’s party has been sold at forever21 since around November, meaning that it shouldn’t be on a supposed hit show as cutting edge.
4. Why is there zero showcasing of the shoes?! All the best shows have given much important airtime to the deeply loved soles we all seek to covet: Sex and the City did it, Gossip Girl does it, OC did it… so why were they no shots of the bottom half of these ensembles… showcasing the footwear may have actually mildly improved the overall looks.
Pros:
1. Boys with Bentleys and private jets… B said it best “Bentley trumps lacrosse stick.”
2. Yayy for bringing back Brenda and Kelly
3. I wish Mr. Matthews was my teacher… especially in the lacrosse scene with his hair messed up, yelling orders while donning some fierce aviators, yum.
4. I applaud them making Shenae Grimes and Lori Loughlin actually look like mother and daughter.
As for my worry about they threatening GG: its officially non-existent. GG has actors who know how to appear natural while still conveying something deeper and complex going on underneath their perfectly coiffed hair and designer duds. Which leads me to point two: 90210’s stylist ain’t got shit on GG’s stylist. And while I do think they need to get a better handle on Serena’s style, her worst moments are still 10 times more amazing than 90210’s best. Also, Chuck, Nate and Dan are still where my loyalties lie as far as beautiful boys go.
Sidenote:
1. The kid who plays Tyon 90210 was apparently on an episode of The Wizards of Waverly Place… hmm.
2. They’re making an official Hannah Montana Movie… entitled Hannah Montana: The Movie… what?!
Hola from R’s closet!
